Anniversary's

Anniversary's have a way of making us reflective. Every year, for the last three years, this day makes me reflective, sad, and happy.

It is a day that is etched in my memory. Every detail of the two days prior and the day God took our mom home is forever in my mind. You can't help but replay those memories in your mind on a day like today.

I remember her eyes connecting one time with Scott and I as she lay in hospice. We choose to believe, as she attempted to mumble something, that she was aware of our presence.

I remember my dad so lovingly touching her face and telling her how much he loves her.

I remember the grands coming in and saying their goodbyes. The decision we made as a family to take her off the breathing machine, and I remember the 15 hours we sat with her.

But two memories I will remember with a sad smile, is when it was just mom and I and I played the song, "It Is Well" for her. It IS well with her. She is with Jesus, no more pain, no more tears, and no more suffering. The other memory is Scott and I holding her hands for her final two hours, watching her take her final breaths and meeting Jesus. From our hands to HIS. A painful blessing.

I remember the songs sang at her funeral, the testimonies given, and the message shared. My mom LOVED Jesus, LOVED her family, and LOVED others.

At some point I am hoping the "reflection" is more about her life than the days of her death, and I am sure it will be. This isn't meant to be morbid either. Just my thoughts today.

I choose to remember these 3 things today: her love for Jesus, love for family & others and her sense of humor. She was a funny lady!

So why am I happy? I am so happy that she is with Jesus. That she is whole again. That she is out of pain and suffering. That she is with her rents and family.

That she is waiting for us with Jesus! I can't wait.

Birthdays and blessing.....

3 years ago today, I talked with my mom for the last time ... or at least the last time she was conscious to respond back. I called her for her birthday a few weeks after spending Christmas with her and my dad in PA.

She would be 78 today. I am pretty darn sure she is happily celebrating however old she is in heaven and quite glad she isn't celebrating #78 here on earth! Angels singing and being with Jesus is probably better then a cake and dinner!

Remembering her birthday somehow got me to thinking of blessings. That last Christmas with her was unexpected. Usually we all traveled to MI. But that year she couldn't travel anymore, so I decided to go there and spent a few days with just her and dad. What a blessing! I was able to cook her Christmas dinner....another blessing, even if the meat turned out a little tough :) You see, God knew she would be with him 3 weeks later. HE knew we all (including Scott and family who also were able to spend time with her then) needed that time with her. HE KNEW.....

Fast forward 3 years to this year's Christmas and unexpected blessings. I was able to spend two whole weeks with my family, an unexpected lunch with my best friend, coffee and brunch with two others. None of those were totally planned, but God knew what I needed, so I am choosing to see those as blessings HE gave me because HE knows what we need, when we need it. HE KNOWS what I will face (and you) this year. So I am trying to see all those small blessings as purposeful things God is placing and will place in my life, for a reason, and not overlook or take for granted "random" phone calls, cards in the mail, or a text message.

You see, HE knows what's coming. The good and bad, and He knows what I need to handle both the good and bad.

By the way, I am listening to Adele on my new wireless headphones ... another unexpected Christmas blessing....LOL. Not sure Adele goes with this post, but .... you know.

Lastly, more than once at the end of December, I kept seeing this verse on social media:

Is. 43:18-19
"But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am going to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wastelands."

For another post .....