We have all had painful endings....it's a part of life, and it's a part of growing in our spiritual lives as well. We probably all can say that those times in our lives are often the sweetest times of growth and communion with God, when we are so dependent on Him, that often all we want is to lean on Him, listen to His Spirit and be in the Word.
... on a side note ... I am often disappointed in myself that I am not always that passionate all the time and not just when going through difficult times. Working on that.
I am in one of those times. The funny thing is, when I look back at all the really difficult times, especially in the last 10-12 years, it almost seems like the intensity of the hard times have been getting harder and harder. Like each time is more painful, more difficult. Each time I believe my faith grows and gets stronger ... my relationship with Jesus closer ... my relationships with "my circle" sweeter and stronger.
In a way I am starting over ... again ... an apartment, new job, new friends, new church, new doctors, and the all important, new hairdresser! Yes, it is in a place where I grew up and where I went to college, but that doesn't necessarily make it easier.
In the midst of this really hard stuff, where some of my deepest insecurities have been ripped open, exposed and stepped on, this is some of what I have learned:
God DOES allow us more then we can handle - but He gives us the grace and strength to walk through it. He wants us to seek after Him, driven to our knees in acts of worship and conversation with Him, often crying out in desperation to Him. Here is the thing about one of the phrases we often use: "God never gives us more than we can handle" - its not true, and its not helpful.
(I began writing this a few days ago, and in church this morning we talked about this half truth of God never giving us more than we can handle. The thing about half truths is that they have enough truth in them that if we buy into them, they will hurt us). Here is what I was reminded of today about being given more than we can handle:
- it deepens our faith
- it shapes our character
- it refocuses our attention (this is not my home)
God DOES meet our needs, often before we know what we need - God provided an unbelievable job for me, at my alma mater, before I knew I'd need one. I had friends step in and meet needs that I had, without asking.
God DOES want us to live in community and need others. I have been surrounded by a group of women, and others, that have, and continue to, pray for, encourage, build up, counsel, and love me. This is as God intends. We NEED each other.
God LOVES me ... just as I am.
Horotio Spafford was a wealthy man but lost EVERYTHING in the Great Chicago Fire in 1871. After two years of rebuilding the city he and his family went on a vacation. His work holding him up, he sent his family ahead on a boat. The boat sank after being hit by a another boat. He sailed to pick up his wife, who had survived. His four girls died. Upon reaching the spot where the boat went down, Horotio penned the words to, It is Well with My Soul.
The next time someone you know or love is going through a valley, say this instead, "God will help you through whatever you've been given ..... and so will I.
It is well with my soul ..... may it be well with yours today.
