When God Chooses to Bless Others

One of the lessons I am in the middle of learning is what to do or think when God blesses those around me.  I guess the reality is, it really isn't any of my business. However, reality is also that I am human and so I watch and observe, and things that shouldn't affect me, sometimes do.

One of the definitions of the word blessing, is, "a thing conducive to happiness or welfare". God gives, and allows, good things that contribute to our happiness, but if I am looking to those things to determine my happiness, I am in trouble. Life is unpredictable. Good and bad happens. As Job said, "God gives and God takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord".  My happiness/contentment is dependent on the person of Jesus, not stuff. On WHO He is, not WHAT He gives me. On His promises, not my desires.  God gives each of us WHAT we need to become more like Him. Or, conversely, He takes away things to make us more like Him. 

Quite frankly, sometimes He gives us good things, because He chooses to. Out of love for us. Because He can. Because He wants to. None of it means I did something wrong or right. None of it means He doesn't love me, or that I don't love Him enough.

Who am I to decide or to think I know what I, or others, need?  God doesn't give us things because we "do the right things". He doesn't withhold things from us because we, "did the wrong things". He alone gets to choose what He gives, when He gives it, and to whom He gives it to. My response:  "blessed be the name of the Lord" - thankfulness, love God ... and love others.

Unmet expectations.....I've been thinking about this idea lately. Especially with regards to relationships. This is where relationships break down. When we have expectations that aren't met. I think this is true when it comes to our relationship with God as well. If I have the expectation that God should give me what I want, give me what He gives others, give me what I think will make me happy, then I will always be in a perpetual state of discontent and unhappiness. Or at least on a roller coaster of emotion.

So what do we do when God chooses to bless others? Part of relationships is weeping when others weep, and rejoicing when others rejoice. So I choose to rejoice ....

• When my best friend is in a relationship with an amazing guy.
• When another friend is provided a job closer to friends and family - and is reunited with a former co-worker.
• When a friend delivers a healthy baby following cancer.
• When a friend gets a new job - AND moves south where it is warmer :)
• When a friend adds a beautiful baby girl to their home, for however long God chooses.
• When a co-worker gets married and is enjoying a new marriage.

None of this comes naturally - at least to me. It is hard sometimes. Especially when I am in the midst of a hard season. And by the way, sometimes God NOT giving us something or taking us through a storm IS the blessing.  (when I figure out how, I'll let you know! I just know it to be true, in my head)

On a more trivial note:  the tip of my tongue has been numb since my surgery Monday. Very weird feeling. BUT, the feeling is coming back! The human body is an amazing thing! 

The feeling in my tongue is a blessing :)

Waves

I just spent some time in one of my favorite places with a sweet friend. It is one of the things I look most forward to each summer. It's a small beach town in MI. We walk around town with coffee in hand, walk the pier, sit at the beach all day (weather permitting) read, play games, talk and just rest. In some ways, it is life giving - both the rest and the company.

Here's the thing though ... you never know what the beach is going to give you each day. On a good summer we've had sun the entire time. But often, you just don't know what the weather is going to do. This summer was no exception. One day it was calm and quiet. The water was so still you could see deep down and watch the fish swim.

No waves, no wind ... just stillness. Peaceful - calm - quiet.

The next day something blew in, literally! The waves were crazy and splashing up onto the pier such that it was covered in water in some places. If you walked too close to the edge, you were bound to get wet. The wind was blowing and it was "cold" on the beach. 

Lots of waves, windy ... noisy, unsettled. 

A week later, I am pondering the difference between the two and how it is much like life. We go through times where our lives are calm and peaceful, like the stillness of the beach on a quiet, still night. Then there are times where life hits us like an out of control wave and knocks us down. It catches us in the undertow, drags us away and we struggle to get out from under it.

Lately, it seems like I've been hit more with waves than the calmness of a quiet lake. When I feel like I was getting a foothold on the undertow, another wave would hit me. Like the disciples I have cried out in fear (OK, and in anger, frustration, etc) but God has not chosen to calm the storm yet. Or not in the way He did for them - speaking and the waves stopped. 

Here is a difference I see - even in the midst of the storm and crashing waves, we are able to see deep down (like seeing fish in the calm waters) and see the One holding us, giving us strength, and giving us peace, that at the time we can't understand. Why? Because Jesus IS the calm in the storm, He CALLS to the waves and they stop still. In OUR weakness, He is our strength.

My joy is anchored in Jesus - not my life's circumstances. I can't control much. But I have to choose to rest in His arms during the storm, wait on Him to heal and grow me through the storms He is allowing, and come to Him with my questions, anger, hurts and desires .... and let Him take them on and give me peace.

We must choose to release our problems and choose to replace our thoughts - you know, the ones we replay in our minds, stress over and allow Satan to put there. 

I stole this:  grapes vs glass - each responds differently to a hammer. Hit glass, and shards of glass will cut and hurt you and others. Hit a grape with a hammer and out comes juice. 

I confess, often times lately, I have been glass, but desire to be the grape.

Sticks and Stones

The old Children's rhyme we all remember, yet know in our maturity as untrue. (sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me) It is said to first have appeared in 1862 in the Christian Recorder.  We were taught to say it as kids to remind us to ignore the hurtful words of others.

The truth is that words can be very hurtful. When I was younger I expected name-calling and hurtful words. Somehow I expected that as I got older it would stop. We would mature as followers of Jesus and realize that our words can wound the soul deeply. I was wrong. It still happens. I do it. We all do it.

Why? Well we can give the pat answer of, we are all sinners, so it is expected. We have to stop using this as an OK to do wrong. If we have the same Spirit in us as Jesus did when He rose Lazurus from the dead, or changed water into wine, then we have the ability through the power of the Holy Spirit to control our tongues. Things are said in the heat of the moment, that we regret later. But some of the most hurtful words, to me, are those made in ignorance and in the calm of a moment. We make judgments about others based on appearance, perception or on what we've heard. We don't think those we are talking about will hear what we've said. 

I don't have an good answer as to the "why". Maybe insecurity, jealousy ... who knows. WHAT I know is that being a recipient of hurtful words has made me very aware of my own words lately. I am praying that God gives me the control over my tongue and love in my heart, to use my words well and wisely. 

So this is a reminder to me as well as my readers (all 2 of you!)  LOL .......... words can give life or "death". Words can encourage the soul or wound it deeply. Words can make you smile or cry. Words can make you angry or put a smile on your face. Words can be hurtful or helpful. If you are like me, unkind and hurtful words are hard for me to forget. They penetrate deeply at times. I am also a "words of affirmation" person on the Love Languages, so that may be why words have such a deep affect me.

Not knowing other's background or life experiences should cause us to pause first, get to know them and understand them. Hold our tongues. Reserve our judgments. 

Prov. 18:21 "Death and live are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."
Prov. 12:18 " There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Prov. 16:24 "Kind word are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."