On my way to church this morning I asked God to speak to me. Not because I am so spiritual, but precisely because I'm not. I'm a messy Christ follower, whose spirit is often in turmoil lately. I should probably stop trying to make sense of life! I am a BIG believer in the Holy Spirit, that He is ever present, that He speaks to us, both to settle and convict our hearts.
The story goes like this: the widow at Zarephath was using the last of her oil and flour to make one last loaf of bread for her and her son. She was then going to die. Elijah was told by God to go there and when he saw the widow, he asked her for something to drink and eat. She told him that she only had this little bit left to feed her and her son and then she was going to die.
She obeyed God (God said He instructed her to feed Elijah) and we all know the story....she had enough oil and flour to continue making bread and it never ran out. She was asked to give up all that she had, even to the last drop of food she had.
Do you ever feel like you have given "everything" and aren't sure what is left to give? I do. Sometimes I think of all those things I've lost or given up - physical abilities, parents, husband, dogs, friends by distance, a house, money, etc. What is left to give? The simple, spiritual answer? Me. I've never refused to give myself to Jesus, but in that process there is a refining that happens to make me more like him. Apparently, I need a lot of refining.....I say that half jokingly, but also mean it. There is something about me that requires a lot of refining....I guess.
We all know that Peter was the leader of the early Church. In preparation for that, one of the lessons he had to learn was one where he and the disciples were in a boat during a storm. The disciples saw what they thought was a ghost on the water during the storm. We know it was Jesus and He told them so. As Peter stepped out of the boat and walked toward Jesus, he took his eyes off of Him and began to sink. Of course, Jesus held out His hand and saved Peter.
As an aside....no one else got out of the boat to walk to Jesus. If we don't get out of the boat, in trust of what Jesus is asking us to do, we won't fulfill His calling on our lives. They all stayed in the boat where it was relatively safe, while Peter stepped out and in doing so, increased his faith in God.
God didn't leave Peter in his failure, but gave him another chance to "walk on the water", with Him. God didn't calm the storm until AFTER they both walked back to the boat. Our tendency is to ask God to calm or stop the storm, instead of asking Him to meet us there or draw us to Himself.
So what did the Spirit speak to me today? Well.....instead of asking WHY all of this stuff is happening to me, ask WHAT am I being prepared for. Getting out of the boat for Peter was uncomfortable. For me, one of those, "getting out of the boats", is forgiveness.
With this heart open wide
From the depths from the heights
I will bring a sacrifice
With these hands lifted high
Hear my song, hear my cry
I will bring a sacrifice
I will bring a sacrifice
I lay me down I'm not my own
I belong to you alone
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart this much is true
There's no life apart from you
Lay me down, lay me down
Lay me down, lay me down
Letting go of my pride
Giving up all my rights
Take this life and let it shine
Take this life and let it shine
I lay me down I'm not my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart this much is true
There's no life apart from You
Lay me down, lay me down
Lay me down, lay me down
It will be my joy to say Your will Your way
It will be my joy to say Your will Your way
It will be my joy to say Your will Your way always
By the way, it's when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus that he began to sink. Don't look down.
