Time flies by

Top - Mexico family vacation 9 years ago

Bottom - family pics 2015

I am obviously reflective this weekend as I watched Preston play his final high school basketball game.  What a way to go out - State championship game!  At some point I will write something just about him as he graduates in June.  However, as I have reflected this weekend on my family, I remembered this trip we took ... and this picture.

9 years ago we took our first family vacation with all the kids. My parents went as well and this was right before mom got noticeably sick.  We went to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico and had a blast!  This was one of my favorite pictures of that vacation and they decided to re-enact it ... sort of : ) ... 9 years later.

Lily - our only girl! is a tough, girly girl!  First of all she is a Huckaby and so she "has" to be tough and sporty!  Secondly, she has grown up with all brothers who treated her like one of the guys when it came to wrestling, etc.  Now they are her protector!  So watch out any guy who wants to date her, much less anyone who hurts her!  If you get past her 3 brothers, you will then have her dad to contend with.

Deacon - the last boy.  He is our "follow the rules" kid .... for the most part!  He has always been a picky eater and won't eat anything GREEN!  He is Lily's best friend - they are 6 months apart.  He was my shadow from about 6 months to two years old while I lived with them.  He loves all sports, but seems to have settled on football and basketball.  He is our "little Scott".

Quinten - our fisherman!  Our artist, our information guy.  He knows everything! Well, sometimes he thinks he does, but more often then not, he is right.  Its quite annoying actually!  LOL ..... he will be our giant and is already as tall as, if not taller, then his dad.  He took off football last year to focus completely on basketball and has become quite a player.  He is smart and kind and is a servant.

Preston - I can't believe he is a senior!  I remember the day he was born.  They had been anticipating adoption for awhile, so when he came home it was a BIG DEAL!  I was there every few months.  He has gone from picking dandelions in the outfield during a soccer game, to a state runner up, amazing athlete and hard worker.  By the way, imagine all of us on the sidelines yelling at him to stop picking weeds and get the ball!  He really didn't stand a chance in this family!  He is loyal, quiet and loves people.  He graduates in May and I can't wait to see what God does and where he leads him.  Looking forward to many college games!

So glad I have a lot more years to watch these peeps grow up ..... and, yeah, they hated holding hands for that picture!  haha

Talking and Listening

Why is it so easy to talk about ourselves all the time?  Why do we feel the need to "one up" each other's stories; or immediately share our own similar experience as if we didn't even hear what the other said?  I'm not sure of all the reasons but here are a few ...

We are self-centered.  Always thinking of ourselves and what makes us feel good. It feels good to talk about ourselves and have people comment or laugh at what we share.  We are insecure.  The bigger the better the story, the more confident we feel about what others feel about us.  We are not humble people.  We would rather talk about ourselves and what we have done or experienced then sit and listen to others.

Sitting at the dinner table one night this week I sat and listened to my students talk.  They are great students! But they are also caught up in this "me" mentality, as we all are at times if we are honest. After listening to this for about an hour, I made a decision.  We all convened in a circle around a fire and I told them they were not allowed to tak about themselves the rest of the night.  They couldn't use the words, I, me or my ... Unless they are asked a question.

All of a sudden it was quiet.  They didn't know what to do or say.  After some fun with it and losing the privilege of talking if they broke the "rules", we sat and talked about it.  Here's my point ...

We spend so much time talking about ourselves that we don't know how to listen.  We are waiting for our turn so we can talk.  We don't engage in communication ... We talk at each other.  We don't listen to hear what someone is NOT saying.  We don't hear deeply what is being said.  We don't ask follow up questions to dig deeper or to get to really know someone.  Why?  Maybe because it requires hard work and vulnerability.  It even requires silence and being comfortable with that, while waiting for someone to be able to speak.  It requires patience. It takes intentionality.

I also think that when you have this kind of conversation, it inevitably leads to Jesus and conversation about life and spirituality.  Not every conversation has to be like this.  However, truth be told, we don't have many of them.

Ramona and Amado, the Dominican couple on the mountain were the best example of this. They shared their testimonies with us one night, never talking about themselves.  Even when we asked questions about how they met or something about them, they answered the question but always came back to conversation about God.

May I / we be more like Ramona and Amado ... Listen more ... Speak less about ourselves ...