The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

 Anybody remember this movie from the late 60's? Clint Eastwood and friends are searching for stolen gold during the American Civil War. Lots of shooting and everything else that is in a good western.

 If only life were like a good movie, a Hallmark if you will. But it isn't. I am in no way comparing life to this movie. I am just stealing the words: the good, the bad and the ugly. THAT is real life. There's good stuff, not so good stuff, and then downright crappy stuff.

I have written a lot about the good and bad, and how to have a proper outlook and perspective...or what I've learned or am learning through them. However, I've never really written about the ugly. Why? Who knows....maybe I don't want to be that transparent; maybe I don't want platitudes; and maybe people will think I want attention ( I don't ). But I'm a blogger .... so I blog.

Here's the ugly.  Life sucks right now. Trying to pick up the pieces of broken promises, a broken heart that says no one will ever hurt me again, ever; of a very weary soul. Actually, I'm not sure I'm really trying to pick them up right now. They are just laying there. Watching as our family makes the ultimate decision to have others care for our dad, who has absolutely no memory of us anymore. I feel like the Psalmist who cries out to God and asks where He is and asks him to hear his voice.  Why does He seem silent? Why can I read verses and not even comprehend what I'm reading? Why does He seem to be answering all my friend's requests and not mine? Why can I barely pray? Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know what to say or ask for anymore. Just going through the motions has me weary and slightly freaking out.

I've heard life comes down to choices. We choose to love, choose to forgive, choose to hold a grudge, choose to hate, choose joy .... you name it. Not based on feelings. Well, there ARE feelings involved; true, raw feelings. So what do we do?  Invest in others, read our Bibles anyway, go to Church anyway; listen to good music; remind ourselves of God's truths. What if that isn't working, then what? I don't know. Maybe that will be another blog. For now I am reminded of the song: "Eye of the Storm";

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm
Mmm, when my hopes and dreams are far from me, and I'm runnin' out of faith
I see the future I picture slowly fade away
And when the tears of pain and heartache are pouring down my face
I find my peace in Jesus' name

In the eye of the storm (yeah, yeah)
You remain in control (yes you do, Lord)
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me (Your love surrounds me)
In the eye of the storm (in the eye of the storm)

Right now they are just words, yet they are Truth.

So, maybe not the feel - good post or funny posts I am usually known for. However, an honest one. Life isn't always funny and there aren't always "happy" endings. I can't wait until there is - when Jesus returns.

Did they ever find the gold at the end of the movie?  I have no idea!