Not My Will ...

I was reading a devotional this morning about our “Gethsemanes” in life. It was about Jesus in the Garden and how He agonized over what was to come. In the end, He prayed these words: “Not my will, but yours be done”. Of course He was talking to God. 

The gist of the devotional was about how we all face our own “Gethsemanes” in life. A time where....

• Life doesn’t make sense
• You are overwhelmed
• You are weary of the battle
• You face one battle after another 
• You face death

I read on, waiting for the “how to” section. The, “this will make it easier” section. The, “this will make you feel better” section. You know, I am a list person. Tell me how to do something. Give me the steps to follow. But for PETE’S sake, do NOT tell me that at some point I just “have to” ...

• Forgive
• Forget
• Move on
• Let go
• Trust God
• Believe, have faith

Those steps never came in this devotional. I literally said, out loud, “are you kidding, that’s the end, that’s it”? It ended with the the fact that at some point all God wants to hear is, “not my will but yours be done”. Some of my wills ....

Take my dad home to see mom and Jesus now.

Faster healing from divorce would be great.

Not having physical pain every day would be awesome.

Having my own home again ... now THAT is a big desire.

Not having to worry about money and being able to “retire” some day.

Being closer to my circle of friends and family is a huge desire.

Wanting to have another chance at marriage.

But I was reminded today that Jesus had the biggest “Gethsemane” of all, and He had the power to walk away from it. But He didn’t. Why? Out of obedience to the Father. Out of love for us.

That’s it ..... “not my will, but yours be done”.

It’s not easy. I am no better than anyone else for writing or thinking about this. I don’t do this very well. It’s just that now and then the Holy Spirit nudges me to do something, to think about something, to be reminded of something .... and then to act. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. Probably more often than not, I don’t. 

Say it, Lori....daily. It will take hold and make its way to your heart.