Do as I say, not ...

So I tell my students in our social media course, for sport, that they have to blog on a regular basis in order to draw awareness and gain a following.  As you can tell I clearly don't follow my own advice! I haven't posted in forever!  Therefore my "following" is slim!

I could say its because nothing has happened lately for me to write about; or that I'm busy writing my own papers that I don't have time; or that I have such a busy social life that I'm preoccupied!  But alas, I just haven't taken the time to write.

Most of you on FB have already seen this video, so no need to watch again.  I am just following another piece of advice to my students and that is that people want pictures and videos!  Most do not want to read the long ramblings of us "wanna-be-writers"!  But if I throw up a pic or video of me making fun of my dog, etc.  you will read!  Or so statistics say.

"JACK" is my new dog and he is small, somewhat "barky" dog who on occasion obsessively bites at things he "sees" in the air.  He may be a candidate for the Dog Whisperer.  Jack's previous owners sent me his "winter clothes".  I have sworn I will NEVER become THAT person who puts a sweater on my dog!  Well I had to do it just for the fun of it.  After being very sure-footed and as fast as a cheeta, Jack was pathetic in his booties!  He stumbled around, lifted his paws like he had gum on the bottom of his "shoes", and just all-around could NOT walk right.

It, of course, made me laugh hysterically!  One of those laughs where you can't breath and your stomach hurts.......I'm hoping in the process that I lost a couple of pounds.  Couldn't hurt.

However, it made me think of my own walk at times.  Physically I use to walk and run with confidence and very sure-footed, never thinking of stepping on a rock, or stumbling or running into someone. I was very stable.  Now I am VERY aware of how I step and walk.  Sometimes unsteady and always watching where I am stepping, fearful of what will happen if I trip or bump into someone.
Years and times of playing hard and abusing my body as an athlete has worn my body down. SOMETIMES I need to rely on doctors, therapists and medication to get through a day.

Spiritually I am the same way.  At times my path seems unsure, with "rocks" in my pathway.  I walk with an awareness that I'm not very steady, that I need something to grab hold of.  What I grab hold of needs to keep me, not only steady and stable, but also on the right path no matter how steep, rocky or straight it may be.  No matter how difficult life is, no matter how many heartaches or how many times I abuse my spiritual body/faith with doubts, fears, questions, anger, worries...you name it.  DAILY I need to rely on Jesus (my healer), the Holy Spirt (my therapist) and God's Word (my medication) to get through a day.  Yet sometimes I grab hold of things that aren't helpful.

Just like I don't always do what I am suppose to physically, I don't spiritually either.  I then stumble, step on things I shouldn't, take a turn in the path that isn't helpful or just plain sit down and not move. I'm working on this.....is all I can say.

Thankfully no one is videoing me in action and laughing while I stumble!  My friends see it, but keep no record and neither does Jesus.  Sorry Jack!

Garage/Moving Sales

A few thoughts and stories from this weekend .....

1.  People watching at garage sales is facinating!  More on this later.

2.  When you say a sale starts on a specific day and people come while you are setting up the night before ... After being in a car for 11 hours is ....... Annoying.

3.  They are just plain exhausting.

4.  There are "professional garage salers".  They come back multiple times and know who to go to in order to get a deal.  There is always one "week link" in the group!  Haha ... Guess whose ours was? I will never tell.

5.  I'm amazed at what people will buy.

A couple of stories:

We had a TON of quilting and sewing stuff.  Bin and bins full.  It only takes the right person.  A lady who is part of a quilting group came by and bought a LOT of stuff and was so excited, including my moms sewing table, desk, etc.  that we haven't even brought out of the house yet.  Another lady came who sews came by and bought a bunch of sewing bins .. And bins ... And, you get the point of how much my mom had!  But they were both sooo excited to get it all and we are happy that someone else can use it, and loved what my mom did.  I'm sure she is thrilled.

Francis and Francis .... Are two ladies I met early on day one.  Mother and daughter, and yes, they are both names Francis.  They came back four times over the weekend!  Hilarious!  Well they became my friends.  Come to find out, the mom use to live one street over from where I grew up.  I'm sure they love each other, but they sure picked at each other a lot!  Big Francis told me numerous times that she is a spiritual woman and how good God has been to her.  However, she doesn't mess with people who do bad things, has never fallen in 85 years, gives her granddaughters whatever they ask for, and told me what a great mom I would be!  All this while Little Francis would roll her eyes behind her mom! And tease her mercilessly. They also bought a few things on each visit.

Last one ... a lady told my brother her story.  She almost lost her house and in the process sold all of her things in it.  She ended up not losing it, but now has to re-fill it, so was going to a bunch of garage sales.  Once the story had circulated our family, discounts began.  Mom would have loved that.

We were able to donate what didn't sell, and after a few dumpster runs, everything is gone but what dad needs till the house sells.  I kept thinking how hard it must have been for him to watch this happen, but he did great, and my brother and fam and I did our best to love on him in the process.

NO, the dog is not for sale!

Surviving vs Thriving

One of my favorite moments this summer was driving back to Ohio from PA with my 11 year old nephew.  My car was packed to the gills with things from my parents home.  So Deacon had to sit in the seat with luggage at his feet.  Poor dude had no room for 8 hours!

While driving we sang along to the radio.  I noticed after awhile that he knew every Christian song that came on.  He says, "well Aunt Lori, I DO listen to music", when I asked him how he knew all of them.  After a conversation of country music, which he had very astute observations about, we went back to singing worship songs.

Singing loud and not caring, I belted out a few lines of the song about how we were made to thrive, not just survive.  Well, I thought it was,  "we were made to FLY" and so I sang that loud and proud!  Being his ever so kind and gracious self, Deacon corrected me .... After, of course laughing at me!  "I think it's suppose to be thrive Aunt Lo".  We had a good laugh, decided thrive and fly were similar and kept on singing.

Which brings me to my blogging point though.  I have been thinking a lot now about surviving vs thriving and what that looks like, especially after difficult times.  I've mentioned a few times about what a very difficult time the last 2 years now have been.  While still working through the "tunnel", I at least see the light at the end now.  It has been a time of surviving a day at a time.

One of the definitions of survive is:  to continue to exist.  At times, all we CAN do, is exist.  Life has thrown us/me some "breaking balls" (instead of curve balls!) - yes, my sport analogy, and I have struck out a lot lately.  Sometimes it's all we can do to get up each day and just survive until,we can go to bed and shut it all out ... Only to begin again the next day.  However, somehow the fact that we get up the next day is victory in itself.  God, in his graciousness and often without us acknowledging it at the time, gives us the strength we need for each day.  But after while surviving isn't enough.  It'
s sad, lonely and unfulfilling.    God wants us to thrive ...

To thrive is to grow or flourish ... Succeed, often in spite of circumstances.  To progress or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances.  During these times we are to grow.  Apart from the grace of God and the love and support of friends, I don't know how we do that.  Often I don't even see the growth but have to rely on those friends walking with me, to point it out, until I can see through the darkness myself.

So what is the goal that I am to be progressing towards? Become more like Jesus ... Love him more ... Love others more ... depend, trust and have faith in God ... I'm sure there are more.  In the midst of losing my mom, back surgery, changes in work setting, walking through difficult times with a friend, packing a house full of memories ... Etc.  I'd like to think I am finally starting to thrive some.

Or maybe even FLY eventually!

Definition of a home

The definition of "home", is "one's place of residence, the social unit formed by a family living together, a familiar or usual setting, focus of one's domestic attention;  also a place where you are comfortable or relaxed".

The definition of "house", is "a building that serves as living quarters for a family, a building in which something is housed, a shelter or refuge for wild animals".

I have been thinking a lot about "home" this summer.  I have lived in so many places over the years that it seems like all of those places can't be called home.  Until coming to Ohio, whenever I said I was going home, it referred to where I grew up, where my parents house now is, in PA.  Most of those other places, according to the definitions above, were just "houses"... A place where I lived at the time.

That home in PA is where all of those family memories are/were ... There was always a sense of security in the fact that I could always go "home".  Now that mom has passed away, it has no longer felt like home.  It's just been a place where dad lives for now.  It has felt more like a "house".  As we packed up the house this summer I had this panicked thought of, "I no longer have a home to go to".  Well that's really not true.

Sure, we make our houses, homes, by decorating them, doing life, making memories, socializing, etc.  but they are still just houses.  Homes are places where we feel relaxed, safe and comfortable, where our friends and family are.  What makes our houses "homes"?

Family
Friends
A familiar place
Where we feel safe
Where we can relax and be ourselves

Home is people, houses are memories.

Things I learned packing my rent's house.

A lot of us are reaching that age where we are becoming the "adults" to our parents.  This trip "home" to PA reflected that as my brother and I took charge of packing and making decisions regarding my parents house and home of 56 plus years.  All 3 of the siblings were there, along with my SIL.  I experienced a lot of emotions and learned a few things as well.

1.  I never knew your appendages could swell that much from being on your feet so much.
2.  It's really not a good idea to feed a dog, cat food. (Don't ask!)
3.  I took two showers a day, and to be honest, could have probably done with a third.
4.  Never thought I'd see the day when my brother would love a dog the size of my dogs head!  However, I did fall in love with the little thing.
5.  It's hard to have one person lead when the majority of us are A type people and people in leadership positions in our respective jobs!  We made it work!
6.  I had NO idea that we could actually pack up 85% of their house in 5 days!
7.  I have never seen (and don't WANT to see) that many Precious Moments in my life!
8.  My mom has a TON of "artsy" stuff!  Any color thread you need, she had!
9.  It's hard to throw away things you know your mom made.
10.  I am sure it was really hard for my dad to watch us do what we did and let us lead.  He showed a lot of trust and grace.
11.  A house is just a building, but it was hard to walk away.
12.  Family and close friends are all you have...treasure them.  Work through the hard times, communicate and love.
13.  Stuff is just stuff.  Don't get me wrong, I took a lot of "stuff" to remember our life there and my mom.  But ultimately it really doesn't matter.
14.  I hate driving.
15.  We all need to downsize.
16.  Rest areas are creepy.
17.  I have great respect for my younger brother who showed such wisdom, grace and compassion in leading my dad through the week, and who will be care giving along with his family.
18.  I am thankful for an older brother who is currently living with dad to help him.
19.  I'm pretty sure every part of my body hurt, including my fingernails, if that's possible!
20.  I never want to do that again!  But, for my family, I will do anything.

While I haven't taken the time yet to really process this past week, it falls in my top 5 list of toughest times.  Getting older stinks!  It does make me realize how precious time is, how much I love my family and close friends, and how God's grace is sufficient.  Well, I'm still learning that one.

Road Trip Musings ...

I'm in my hometown this week beginning the process of packing up my parents house, as we are moving my dad to live with my brother and his family....a blog for another day.  But as I drove I had a few thoughts.

1.  This drive is long and boring by yourself ..... it gives someone like me too much time on hand to think! Although the good part is that I also had plenty of time to prepare for what lies ahead.

2.  Driving across PA is absolutely beautiful.  I would attach a picture, but I am still learning the whole blogging thing and can't figure out how to do that easily!  It's a very hilly and mountainess drive.

3.  Rest stops are freaky places!  I really don't care for them much, especially at night.  Speaking of rest areas....

4.  I became THAT person yesterday.  Yep, I walked out after using said facility and on my to my car I see my shadow.  Only it has something that I don't recognize attached.  As I look closer....you guessed it!  I had a long piece of toilet paper hanging out from my shorts!  Oh well ... I will never see those people again.  I now do the "toilet paper double check" before leaving the stall!

5.  PA is notorious for its construction.  I've been going back there for 25 years now and there is ALWAYS construction going on.  On this trip, however, I saw a lot of signs and pylons. Not much constructing was going on, however.  No wonder it's still going on after 25 years.

That's all I have for this round.  Back to packing ...

Rules are made to be ...

... Most of my friends probably expect me to say: BROKEN .... And, well ... They'd probably be right, given my life of hating rules.  But in reality, as I've grown older, I realize some rules are better off kept!

For example, the speed limit.  I don't, for the life of me, understand a 55 limit.  I feel like I could bike faster then that.  But given my recent deluge of tickets, it's best for me to follow that particular rule.

Making my bed in college was one I never understood!  Who cares if I made my bed or not!  When I knew I was coming back from class to take nap before practice, why bother making my bed!  I was just going to in-make it and to me...THAT was a waste of my time.  The list of music I could and couldn't listen to ... Oh MYLANTA!  A rule to be broken for sure!  I certainly bristled when it came to rules.  I didn't like someone telling me what I could and couldn't do.  I didn't like the list of dos and dont's when it came to the Christian life either.  As if following the "rules" would somehow make me more spiritual.  So, I continue to break some and keep some.

Some "rules", I like to think of them as guidelines, are for my benefit ... both in life and in my walk with Jesus.  But the one I chose to obey today was my doctor's (both of them) order of not driving more then 5 hours and stopping and getting out of the car every two.  As I started the drive to PA I knew I wouldn't WANT to stop.  One, I'm cheap (frugal) and didn't want to pay for a hotel, but also because I just want to keep going and get where I need to!

Three hours into the drive I knew WHY my docs told me this!  I knew they would be right, but I also saw myself as some exception to the rule! LOL ... I'm sure that doesn't surprise my friends!  My back and hip was killing me and I was stiff as a board when I got out of the car!  So here I am relaxing in a hotel, in the middle of nowhere, listening to all the noises and trying not to freaked out by them.  But my back feels a lot better!

My conclusion?:  rules for rules sake = stupid
                             Some rules just SCREAM to be broken ... If I must!
                             Some we should obey to both save us from the consequences ... And heartache