Prayer

Where two or three are gathered in my name .... pray in secret and my Father who .... 

In the past few years I have listened to a lot of complaining in the church, and to be honest, I have complained about a few things myself.  All of you who thought I was perfect, sorry to burst the bubble! 

We complain about our routines being upset, the music is too loud, the chairs have been moved, someone sat in "my row" ... the list is long. In recent years I've listened to all of the, "we are headed down the slippery slope". Why are we headed that way, they say?

1. we took baptist out of a title.

2. we took Bible out of a title

3. we are using something other then the King James version.

4. we don't use hymnals anymore.

5. we've added a "contemporary" service.

6. we have a worship band.

7. we are trying new ways to love people outside of the church and that makes others uncomfortable.

8. we no longer have a Sunday night service.

I'm sure there are more, but you get my point. I was reading recently a conversation on FB. Someone was upset because their church is canceling Wednesday night prayer meeting because of lack of attendance. 

Rabbit trail: do you remember the old days when our Baptist churches would split us up to prayer and men and women were separated and had to pray with the appropriate gender!?  : )

Ok, back to my point of this post. We are so stuck in our ways of tradition that we can't see out of the box. Instead of being upset because the church canceled prayer meeting, how about finding a group of friends that want to pray together once a week and do that? Why does it have to be in a church, or on a Wednesday night? Because that is the way it has always been. If we complain, but don't fill that void another way, then we don't really care about prayer meeting. We just care that our churches changed something.

I've learned a lot about prayer in the past 10 years. My thoughts on prayer have changed as my view of God has changed. I never really liked to pray, especially in public or with others. I never sounded very spiritual, in my mind, whatever that meant! and God already knows, so why bother telling him.

As my view and heart began to change, so did my desire to pray with others (small groups or one!)

Here's the thing ... God WANTS to hear from us. Praying with others, in our circles of trust, is an amazing experience. We get to talk to the God of the universe together. It seems to me that when we do this, our prayers also become deeper and are less about "aunt bessy's hip" (not to downplay those things) and more about our deep need for Jesus. Doing that together also bonds us together.

So, instead of complaining because Wednesday night prayer meeting has been canceled, get together with a friend or your circle of trust, and prayer together weekly. I pray weekly with a friend, over the phone, and I wouldn't trade it. I look forward to it. Crazy, I know .... over the phone .... horrors! Ok, enough sarcasm : )

Think and pray out of the box. 

Watch the War Room.

JACK!

From the age of about 2 until I was a junior in high school I grew up with a German Shepherd whose name was Heidi. Interesting side note ... my mom loved the name Heidi and wanted to name me by this moniker, but I guess dad didn't like it. So she said if she ever had another girl she WOULD name her Heidi. Well, Scott was born so that didn't happen! But when she got this shepherd pup, her name became Heidi. I'm really glad she didn't give me that name!

When I was about 4, Heidi had a litter of pups. We have home movies showing these pups gang tackling me in the backyard. Of course we named them all and this one particular grey pup captured my mom's heart and she named her "greygirl". We wanted to keep her but decided in the end not to, and boy did mom cry as she was the last one sold. 

What is it about animals, and in this case, dogs that so capture our human hearts? (well some of ours as I know not all humans are animals lovers, and that's ok) By their very presence they bring joy and laughter to our lives ... or groans when you are cleaning up vomit! Its not much different then having kids in that regard.

They are loyal beyond loyal, love you with no expectations in return, and listen as if they understand every word! However, they are totally dependent on us for food and general care. They are quirky, as demonstrated by Jack. He decides which treats he will eat right away and which he will walk around the house looking for a place to "bury" it while he whines. He spends great time and care in "burying" his treat only to unbury it minutes later. I often laugh at the clever places he finds to hide them. Unlike one of my other dogs, Skylar, who would have a collection of treats buried deep in my closet that I would find later.

Dogs fill this need for companionship. You can often read where retirement centers or rehab centers will bring in dogs just for companionship and the affects they have on people is palpable. 

By the way, you can call them every name in the book as long as you use your kind and gentle voice and they will wag their tails as if you are giving them great compliments! : ) I am now on my third dog as an adult, and I will never be without one. Skylar, Chloe and now JACK!

If you were waiting for my life or spiritual application, sorry to disappoint! : )

Heidi and I

Chloe

Skylar

Made in His Image

This is my friend Corkey from church. I met him some 18 years ago when I first lived in Va. I always knew when he was in church as his "amen's" reverberated throughout the auditorium. My first Sunday back in Va I heard Corkey and it made me smile. He is still here, and other then a little gray hair, hasn't changed. 

Corkey loves Jesus! When asked if he is ready to go to church and worship Jesus, he gets so excited that he goes on for about 5 minutes. He is not ashamed to proclaim his love for God, shout out an "amen", or exclaim, "isn't God good".

See we can learn a lot from Corkey. He has Cerebral Palsy and has a number of challenges because of it. Yet he is constantly asking you, "isn't God good"? How can a man who has so many challenges feel this way? He doesn't have family here, struggles to get around, and has to rely on others to get anywhere. So how can he say that?

Somewhere in his mind it is THAT simple ... God IS good. He has the Holy Spirit in him. He has the love of Jesus in him. He has the peace of God in him. He has the power and grace of God in him that allows him to see past his difficulties and SEE the goodness of God.

Corkey is made in the Image of God just as you and I are. Yet he sees joy in the simplicity of life. He LOVES Burger King .... he LOVES his butterfly ring ..... he LOVES going to church .... and boy does he LOVE Jesus and is not ashamed to say it, yell it in church and constantly proclaim it.

I don't know all the lessons I will learn from Corkey yet. But I love being around him. His joy rubs off on me and makes me smile. It makes a bad day feel just a little better for those minutes I am with him. 

Shouldn't that be how it is with us and Jesus? The time I spend with Him each day should make me smile, make me want to proclaim, "isn't God good"?! Instead, I am often overwhelmed by the difficulties of life.

Why is God good? Simply .... because He died for me ..... because of that I have life eternal ..... He gives me daily grace ..... He forgives me ..... He loves me more then anyone else can ..... I am made in His Image.

Oh ..... Corkey LOVES Disney World!   ..... and wants me to go with him someday : )

We should all be more like Corkey.

Dear Mom .....

So mom .... I got married. A couple of years after this picture of you and I was taken. You would love him. His name is Russ and no, I did not meet him on the internet! A mutual friend introduced us. He is a kind and good man. He loves Jesus, our family, my close friends and, yes, even my newest dog, Jack. I have no doubt he would dote on you! He is really good to me, and for that I know you are happy.

By the way, I think you'd love Jack too. He'd sit on your lap for hours! Unlike my other two!

I always thought one day that you would make my wedding dress, like we had talked about. Somewhere along the line we stopped talking about it! LOL ..... not wanting to say out loud that we thought "it" might never happen. I'm glad at least that you were able to make Kari's. I think you would have been surprised at the dress I picked out! haha...I'd love to have heard your comments! It was nothing I ever imagined or wanted in a dress. Knowing you, you would have known right away that it was the one.

Our wedding was outside. You remember Kirsten ... it was at her parents old house and it was beautiful. I don't know how much God allows you to see of our human lives down here, but I choose to believe that He allowed you to be a witness on that day. Oh how I wish you were there ... but I had some other "moms" there for you. Peggy, Kirsten's mom and Beth's mom. It took three to represent you!

Dad is doing ok, but never the same since you went to heaven. He's suffering from dementia now too, sometimes not remembering who I am. Scott and Kari are taking GREAT care of him, following his example of caring for you. He will be ok. We are, and will, do our best for him. I had Scott and the boys give me away for you and dad. It was one of my favorite moments walking with all of them! You would be so proud of them. They are becoming such great men. Well, Deacon's only 12, but you know! : ) Lily is sweet and a rough and tumble, girly girl. You would LOVE spending time with her and teaching her to sew and make things.

Anyway, back to the wedding ... it was just all family and close friends, about 100 people, which was perfect. Kirsten was my MOH and Lily my junior bridesmaid. I don't know what I would have done without Kir. She spent the week with me and did all the things we would have done and more. She was my wedding planner, cake decorator, organizer, list maker, packer, kept me sane and everyone on the same page. Couldn't have a better best friend.

It was a worshipful time and I thought of you a lot during it. Dad, Scott and Kari came up and prayed with us and that is when I most felt your absence.

I could have really used all those times you wanted to teach me how to cook and can! I'm sure you are having a good chuckle up there at my attempts right now! But they have these things now like waffle and bread makers ... and google where I can get any recipe I need ... and a crockpot! But ... I have your box of recipe's and your Betty Crocker cookbook that is falling apart. I still tend to put all my laundry in the same load instead of separating by colors, etc. but I am working on that : )

and this boy .....

... is a freshman in college this year! Can you believe it! I remember the day they brought him home! What a cute little guy, who is now growing up to be an amazing guy who loves the Lord.

Doing my best (with God's help) to make you proud. I love and miss you mom.

What you don't know when you move ....

..... or get married.

So here's the thing: I have moved numerous times in my life. Each time I have to do all of the same things. It never gets easier, nor do I remember how awful it really is.

I also think:  NO WOMAN CAME UP WITH THIS SYSTEM! There should be ONE place to go in order to change your last name on EVERYTHING! But noooooooo .......... so let's just make a list for fun.

1. SS office
2.Credit cards
3. License
4. Any place where you have any card with your last name on it.
5. Passport
6. Optional:  email addresses
7. Title to your car or  loan

I'm sure there are others I am not even aware of yet. But if this isn't enough, we also have to .........

8. Find a new hairdresser - which, by the way, is the MOST traumatic thing to do.
9. Find a new primary care doc - release forms, new forms .... FORMS!
10. Other pertinent docs by gender - yeah, I said it.
11. Bank
12. Dentist
13. Pharmacy - giving ALL your new information
14. Eye doc
15. Find the DMV - or whatever your new state has decided to call it.
16. Find a new Vet
17. Find the closest Post Office

Oh ..... and most important: the closest Kohls, ice cream shop, Chick-Fil-A and mall.

THAT.IS.ALL.

Is God all we really need?

..... and if so, then why did He create us to need and desire relationships?

I have argued against this idea all of my adult life. I have also never understood it. Some of that is in how I am wired and some is just that I didn't get it. My mind could not fathom that God, whom I can't see or communicate with like a human, was all I needed. 

We are made to need and crave relationships and community. Proverbs talks a lot about friendships and the benefits of them. Ecclesiastes talks about a cord of three not easily broken. Jesus "needed" His disciples to pray with Him. We NEED others ... God has designed that. I think we compare the two ideas and they can't be compared. My relationships aren't God and He isn't like my human relationships.

It has always bugged me when people would say, God is all they need. I look at their lives and think, no kidding sherlock.....you have a home, husband, family, great job, money and friends (maybe not ALL of those things at once, but you get my point). Of course with those things you can say that.

Then I started, over the last 10 years, really getting to know God better. At the same time, developing sweet, godly friendships ..... and more recently, just got married. I can NOW say:  I GET IT BETTER. Don't get me wrong.....I am so thankful for the friendships I have and my new husband.

But I now get it ..... better ..... it is still a work in progress. However, I can't IMAGINE right now NOT having Jesus. Ultimately He knows everything about me, knows what I need, how I feel, my struggles and He will never fail me. I have what I thought would be the final thing that would make me happy and "complete" - a man. (don't get me wrong, he is great!) Only God completes us though, only God truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Only God is completely faithful.

I can't really explain it other then it is the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. It only has taken 30 plus years to click! I am a slow learner, what can I say?

God is all I need. I GET to have other things: a husband, a best friend, a home, family, other friends. BUT, He is all I really need.

Seeesters

 .... not by blood, but by the blood of Jesus.

The last month has been a whirlwind of emotions and activities. From an annual vacation with girlfriends in MI ... to packing a house and selling it ... to getting married and moving.  All things that this girl who likes her "sameness", both enjoyed and didn't. Most people don't like change and this girl is NO exception. 

One thing that has remained steady is the life-long, enduring relationships with these women. We have all been through A LOT of changes in the past two years. In fact, now all of us are in different locations, figuring out new normal's and working on new friendships but also being intentional about maintaining these. Hard stuff.

Not making any applications in this blog. Just being honest about all of the hard changes that will take time to work through; all the new normal's that will take time to form; all while trying to be what God wants us to be as Christ-followers.

I love these woman and I miss them in my every day life. Here's to new norms with you guys ... and working on starting a new annual tradition of meeting up each summer. Intentionality ....

Passing the Baton

Happy Father's Day

As I was thinking about our dad today a number of things came to my mind.....his example to his family:

• He has been a man of great faith.
• He has been a man of prayer.
• He has always sought God's will.
• He loved my mom so well and took such great, sacrificial care of her.
• He loves people.
• He taught us kids to use sport to reach others.
• He has always been a hard worker.

In recent months it has become clear that the "family baton" has been passed on to my brother, Scott. I see the same qualities in him that my dad has had. However, it is a role that he reluctantly takes on. Not because he is not equipped by God's grace, but because it means roles have been reversed ... and that is hard. He is teaching his children, through his and my SIL's example, that it is our responsibility to care for our parents in their old age ... no matter what ... no matter how hard ... no matter how sad ... no matter ... 

He will, and is, passing these same qualities on to his boys (and Lily), who will some day become dads and hopefully, by God's grace, continue passing the baton to the next generation of Huckaby men.

Happy Father's Day to my dad and brother. Love them both.

Lego's & Lessons

When my third nephew, Deacon was younger, he LOVED putting lego puzzles together! It was something we did together just about every time I visited. As he got older, they got harder and more complex! We have put together trucks, fire trucks, planes, ships, you name it! We would proudly take a picture and he would then display them on his shelves.

Now here's the thing about these lego projects:  you had to follow the directions. ONE piece out of place and the whole thing was ruined. You would have to take it apart at the incorrect spot and go again. The other thing about legos is that lots of kids have great imaginations and can design all kinds of things with legos.

I took a friend's son to the Lego Movie. I feel like I should watch it again because it had so many subtle lessons for life. The idea was that all of these lego people had routines that they followed every day. On the other hand there were those called the "master builders", who had great imaginations and could make anything they could think up. The leader of the land was a guy who wanted everything to be the same, everyone had to follow the "instructions" and could not think, or do, outside of the box. He had workers called, "micro-managers" who would go around and make sure everyone was following the instructions.

His goal was to capture all of the "master builders" and lock them up. The story had been told that there would be one person who would come and be able to save the land from leader. He was called, "the special" - "the most talented, capable person who would do amazing things because he was so special".  He could change everything.

The lego who was "the special" didn't think he was all that much. Nothing special about him. No one noticed him during the day. He did his job and there was nothing about him that stood out. However, in his mind he would come up with all these crazy ideas to build things....like a double decker couch with cup holders (which in the end was what saved he and his friends from certain lego death).

When he would mention his ideas, he was made fun of. No one thought much of his ideas. So he gave up and stopped trying. When he went to save all of the master builders, they ended up laughing at him and he was convinced again that there was nothing special about him. After lots of lego drama, "the special's" mentor said this to him:  "don't worry about what everyone thinks, embrace what is special about you".

In the end, of course, "special" saved all of lego land from the leader and his micro-managers and the land no longer looked like the same "block buildings made with instructions to be followed". Legos embraced being different, not fitting the mold and believing that what made them special was what was on this inside.

Lessons:

1. Think out of the box
2. Be ok with who you are - you are made in the image of God and are special.
3. Don't worry about what others think of you (that's hard)
4. Trying to make people fit into your mold isn't going to work, isn't right or healthy.
5. You are the most talented, capable person and will do amazing things because you are special. You can change everything (through the power of the Holy Spirit and with the gifts God has given you).

This ..... from a lego movie.

With my mouth I will praise the Lord

This morning I was praising Jesus remotely, with a friend, for all the He is doing and has done particularly these past few months, and she pointed me to this passage.

Ps. 66

"Shout joyful praises to God, all the earth! Sing about the glory of his name! Tell the world how glorious he is. Say to God, 'How awesome are your deeds! Your enemies cringe before you mighty power. Everything on earth will worship you; they will sing your praises, shouting your name in glorious songs.'

Come and see what our God has done, what awesome miracles he performs for people! He made a dry path through the Red Sea, and his people went across on foot. There we rejoiced in him. For by his great power he rules forever. He watches every movement of the nations; let no rebel rise in defiance.

Let the whole world bless our God and loudly sing his praises. Our lives are in his hands, and he keeps our feet from stumbling. You have tested us, O God; you have purified us like silver. You captured us in your net and laid the burden of slavery on our backs. Then you put a leader over us.

We went through fire and flood, but you brought us to a place of great abundance.

Now I come to your Temple with burnt offerings to fulfill the vows I made to you - yes, the sacred vows that I made when I was in deep trouble. That is why I am sacrificing burnt offerings to you - the best of my rams as a pleasing aroma, and a sacrifice of bulls and male goats.

Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me. For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke. If I had not confessed the sin n my heart, the Lord would not have listened.  But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer.  Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love for me."

About a month or so ago now I was on my way to physical therapy. As I usually do, because these appoinments are early morning ones, I stop at McDonalds for a cup of coffee and a breakfast bagel. As I pull up to the window to pay, the lady says, "your order was paid for by the car in front of you".

I always hear of people this has happened to, but it NEVER happens to me. I was so suprised that it took me a few seconds to get myself together. Now, let me back up some ...

I am a worrier, I panic, I think of all the worse things that can happen, I have every illness there is and I can be a hypochondriac. I know, this suprises most of you! (not everyone!) God will meet a need and then I will still worry the next time something comes up.

As most know at this point, I am getting married. So I put my house on the market and had a plan for how much I wanted to walk away with. It would be enough to pay off my car so that I wouldn't bring that debt into the marriage and still bring a good number of savings into it as well. While I was waiting for my house to sell, wedding costs were adding up as well. I finally found a couple to buy the house and we agreed on a number. However, when the appraisal came in EVERTHNG changed. I went from walking away with 10 grand to owing 12 grand if I wanted to sell. I didn't have the ability to do that and pay for a wedding and so I began to worry about what to do. I was reminded that I have NO control over any of this and I needed to sit back, trust God and watch Him work.

A friend of mine began to pray that God would meet my needs and to provide for Russ and I in unique ways; ways that would point to only Jesus and cause us to acknowledge that only God could have done this. He has. Long story short, I am selling my house for only a loss of about 2500. Today I found out I am being paid to develop my online courses. The amount will allow me to pay off my car and some other things as well, and leave me with a small surplus after the wedding. On top of that, I still have a few more things coming in that will help.

Back to the lady at McDonalds who paid my bill ... its as if God was telling me beforehand, that no matter what happens, He's got my back. I had no idea of all that would transpire with the sale of my house, quitting my job, getting married and how the Lord would meet our needs of the wedding and afterwards. He did (and He will). After this happened, a friend of mine reminded me of the McDonalds episode and that it was like God was telling me ahead of time that He will take care of everything. It might not, and hasn't looked like WHAT I HAD PLANNED or how I THOUGHT IT SHOULD. But God has meet my NEEDS and blessed me over and above those needs. I don't deserve it.

God is faithful, He can be trusted.

Best Sermon ...

I heard one of the best sermons on biblical womanhood I've ever heard. I may be a bit biased as it was from my pastor at Grace. I also certainly don't have all the answers. However, I have grown up in one mindset of what it should look like or what a group of people have interpreted scripture to mean. I have learned that, yes, the Bible is very clear on a number of things when it comes to women and our roles. However, I have also learned that we, in our sinful and humanness, include our own personal bias, opinions and growing up experiences into how this plays out.

We often blame only the "world" for its scewed version of womanhood. I believe the church is to blame as well, and by church I don't mean a specific building. I mean groups of people. We see some things through our own lenses of interpretation or just beliefs, or how we were raised.  For example, what does it mean to be a "complimentarian"? You and I may both be one, however how we live that out practically, may look a little different.

What's my point? While we may have different ideas or interpretations of what scripture means to us practically, none of us have the right to see "our way" as the right way and shun those who don't believe the same way as we do.  I am not referring to those biblical distinctions we hold to that separate us from other "religions". I am talking about how we live out our lives as followers of Christ, when we don't all agree on everything.

What does this have to do with womanhood?  (I'm getting there!) I have lived my entire 49 years as a single woman. I've been told I am not fulfilling my life's greatest calling: that of being a wife and mother. I've been told I am less then a man, that I have to obey men, that I am not worth as much financially as I make less then a man doing the same job.  

My greatest calling is where God has me now and using the gifts He has given me to share Christ with others, encourage believers and to love God and others more every day. While being "alone" may not be ideal, God's grace is enough.

Here are four fundamentalist flaws (from my pastor's sermon)

1.  Hyper-patriarchy over partnership - absolute rule over women, that we are under all men.

2.  Non-biblical ideals as requirements:

     a.  woman can't work outside the house

     b.  women should never be in charge

     c.  women should never teach men, period

     d.  women should not excel their husbands - be smarter than, make more money that, etc.

3.  Cultural norms over timeless truths of scripture

4.  A fulfillment of the second part of the curse...that men will rule over women in a negative way.

We confuse the word "helper" ..... God is referenced  as helper as well. It is not being inferior or weaker. Adam could not do his role alone. He needed help, a partner.

Yes, I am soon to be married ... and my role will change. I can no longer do what I want, whenever I want to. ( yikes! ) LOL ....... this doesn't make me "better" then single people. It makes my role now different.

Church:  we HAVE to change how we see single people, how we treat them and how we use them in our churches. There are single people I would rather have influencing my children (if I had them) then some married people. 

Now that I have offended somebody ........ we are ALL made in God's image. Let's act like it.

Women I am Thankful For

Philippians 1:3
"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."

There are many women I am thankful for today.  So I just want to mention a few and say thank you.

To the woman who gave birth to me:  thank you for choosing life in a time when being an unwed pregnant teen was kept silent.

To the woman who gave me "life":  thank you mom ... for taking a baby (3 in fact) that you didn't give birth to and making us your own. For making every birthday seem like the biggest deal ever. For making our house a home. For modeling what a Godly mom and woman looks like. For your sense of humor! For modeling prayer. For modeling great courage and strength in the end. I miss you.

To the woman who is another birth mom:  thank you for choosing life so that my family could raise Preston and Lillian.

To my SIL, Kari - thank you for being the amazing mom you are to Preston, Quinten, Deacon & Lillian. Thank you for allowing me to completely and un-ashamedly spoil and love them. Thank you for caring for dad ... you are modeling grace, God's love and caring for someone through difficult times.

To the women who have been my "other moms":  Patsy Kuhar & Sheron Gibbs. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your families, for nursing me through many surgeries (Sheron!), Sunday dinner with your family, your examples of selfless giving and service, and for your daughters who are my lifelong friends.

To some women who are dear friends:

Beth - for not killing me as a 17 year old freshman! For not being intimidated of who my family was and putting me in my place when needed, for discipling me and still being my friend 30 years later. By the way, the mattress out the window was Cheryl's idea.

Kim - for reaching out and "taking me on" ... for helping me survive our common office space : ) and encouraging me so well. For all the chats, coffee and being in the "circle of trust".

Lori W. - for allowing me into your family and letting me be an "aunt" to your kids. For being so excited every time you see me. For your love of life. For allowing a very unmusical person be your sound "man".  For being a dear friend and more recently, being my matchmaker.

Kirsten - for being my "sister, for being patient while I "figured you out" : ) , for walking through hard, hard times together, for your loyalty, sense of humor, encouragement, your example of complete and utter trust and faith in Jesus, for being "Jesus w/ skin on" when I needed it, for our mutual love of food and laughter and for being a forever friend.

Jessica - I've learned so much from you watching you be a mom. thanks for your raw honesty and vulnerability about being a wife and a mom. Thanks for letting me love your kids!

Becky & Brooke - for all the laughs, snarky times, serious conversations and friendships especially these past couple of years. Thanks for your examples of grace. You are lifelong friends!

There are others and I probably offended somebody : )  which is not my intention. I just wanted to say thank you to some women I love and one I miss.

Is 43:19

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

A friend reminded me of this verse recently.  God HAS been doing a new thing in me for awhile now. Not going to lie, it has been a tough season in my journey.  In previous posts I have talked about change, being in a dark tunnel and having so many anchors in my life taken away or changed in some way.

Had God NOT allowed some of these things to happen, I'm not sure I'd be on the path I am on now....the path of marriage.  God knew what I needed to bring me to this point.

So now a new chapter begins ..... one that is both exciting and terrifying at the same time! Every little girl's dream is to find her "knight in shining armor", "the man of her dreams", "the one" ... however you want to say it. God's timing is perfect. I can honestly say, without doubt, that until now I was not ready to be married. I needed to face and deal with things from my past that caused hurt and a view of God that was incorrect. I needed to learn to trust ... people and God. I needed to learn what real love looks like. I need to learn how to be a friend.I needed to accept friendship. I needed to learn what true community is. I needed to learn to speak truth to myself. I needed to let go. I needed to hold on. I needed to be honest with God, myself and others. I needed to learn who I was in God and because He loves me and gave himself for me. I needed to get involved in some small groups/bible studies. I needed to learn to be free in my worship and not care what others think. I needed time.

I needed the last 28 years (since graduating from college) - God needed the last 28 years to prepare me for this next big change and part of my journey.

I am marrying an amazing man. He loves me for who I am ... this strong, introverted, independent women. He loves Jesus. He loves my family. He loves my close friends. He's kind, gracious and giving of his time and resources. He strives to be a better man and follower of Jesus.

God IS doing a new thing in me. God HAS prepared of way in the wilderness for me. God has provided water in the midst of my desert ... through the Holy Spirit, His grace and people in my life.

I see it now.

Time flies by

Top - Mexico family vacation 9 years ago

Bottom - family pics 2015

I am obviously reflective this weekend as I watched Preston play his final high school basketball game.  What a way to go out - State championship game!  At some point I will write something just about him as he graduates in June.  However, as I have reflected this weekend on my family, I remembered this trip we took ... and this picture.

9 years ago we took our first family vacation with all the kids. My parents went as well and this was right before mom got noticeably sick.  We went to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico and had a blast!  This was one of my favorite pictures of that vacation and they decided to re-enact it ... sort of : ) ... 9 years later.

Lily - our only girl! is a tough, girly girl!  First of all she is a Huckaby and so she "has" to be tough and sporty!  Secondly, she has grown up with all brothers who treated her like one of the guys when it came to wrestling, etc.  Now they are her protector!  So watch out any guy who wants to date her, much less anyone who hurts her!  If you get past her 3 brothers, you will then have her dad to contend with.

Deacon - the last boy.  He is our "follow the rules" kid .... for the most part!  He has always been a picky eater and won't eat anything GREEN!  He is Lily's best friend - they are 6 months apart.  He was my shadow from about 6 months to two years old while I lived with them.  He loves all sports, but seems to have settled on football and basketball.  He is our "little Scott".

Quinten - our fisherman!  Our artist, our information guy.  He knows everything! Well, sometimes he thinks he does, but more often then not, he is right.  Its quite annoying actually!  LOL ..... he will be our giant and is already as tall as, if not taller, then his dad.  He took off football last year to focus completely on basketball and has become quite a player.  He is smart and kind and is a servant.

Preston - I can't believe he is a senior!  I remember the day he was born.  They had been anticipating adoption for awhile, so when he came home it was a BIG DEAL!  I was there every few months.  He has gone from picking dandelions in the outfield during a soccer game, to a state runner up, amazing athlete and hard worker.  By the way, imagine all of us on the sidelines yelling at him to stop picking weeds and get the ball!  He really didn't stand a chance in this family!  He is loyal, quiet and loves people.  He graduates in May and I can't wait to see what God does and where he leads him.  Looking forward to many college games!

So glad I have a lot more years to watch these peeps grow up ..... and, yeah, they hated holding hands for that picture!  haha

Talking and Listening

Why is it so easy to talk about ourselves all the time?  Why do we feel the need to "one up" each other's stories; or immediately share our own similar experience as if we didn't even hear what the other said?  I'm not sure of all the reasons but here are a few ...

We are self-centered.  Always thinking of ourselves and what makes us feel good. It feels good to talk about ourselves and have people comment or laugh at what we share.  We are insecure.  The bigger the better the story, the more confident we feel about what others feel about us.  We are not humble people.  We would rather talk about ourselves and what we have done or experienced then sit and listen to others.

Sitting at the dinner table one night this week I sat and listened to my students talk.  They are great students! But they are also caught up in this "me" mentality, as we all are at times if we are honest. After listening to this for about an hour, I made a decision.  We all convened in a circle around a fire and I told them they were not allowed to tak about themselves the rest of the night.  They couldn't use the words, I, me or my ... Unless they are asked a question.

All of a sudden it was quiet.  They didn't know what to do or say.  After some fun with it and losing the privilege of talking if they broke the "rules", we sat and talked about it.  Here's my point ...

We spend so much time talking about ourselves that we don't know how to listen.  We are waiting for our turn so we can talk.  We don't engage in communication ... We talk at each other.  We don't listen to hear what someone is NOT saying.  We don't hear deeply what is being said.  We don't ask follow up questions to dig deeper or to get to really know someone.  Why?  Maybe because it requires hard work and vulnerability.  It even requires silence and being comfortable with that, while waiting for someone to be able to speak.  It requires patience. It takes intentionality.

I also think that when you have this kind of conversation, it inevitably leads to Jesus and conversation about life and spirituality.  Not every conversation has to be like this.  However, truth be told, we don't have many of them.

Ramona and Amado, the Dominican couple on the mountain were the best example of this. They shared their testimonies with us one night, never talking about themselves.  Even when we asked questions about how they met or something about them, they answered the question but always came back to conversation about God.

May I / we be more like Ramona and Amado ... Listen more ... Speak less about ourselves ...

A piece of my faith journey

I love the way the Lord is gracious and patient, knowing what each of us needs, even if we need it hundreds of times.  Some day I will write my whole journey up until now,  For now, this piece will have to do.

I've mentioned going through a two year tough patch, both in my personal and professional life...both affecting and challenging my faith.  There were times the tunnel seemed so long and so dark that I wasn't sure when I would feel "normal" again.  (whatever that means! haha)

A year ago this past week I went through another major fusion surgery.  At that same time, my best friend moved and started her own new faith journey.  I have worked through rehab, being frustrated at where I am physically.  Worked through learning a "new normal" with friendship and was faced with, again, learning to trust a God I can't see with stuff I constantly have struggled with in life: insecurity, losses, trust, letting go, being "alone", etc.

I have learned there is no time table.  No one experiences things the same way.  God knows what we each need, when we need it.  The only thing I know is that God has my back, has ALWAYS had my back and uses others to "have my/our back(s).

A year later, I am engaged and soon to leave a place I have finally found to call home, a church I found community in and friends I have found for life.  But in all of that I have found my faith stronger, my love for God deeper, my wounds healing and my friendships so much deeper then when I first came to this "farm land"!

And because God knows I need constant affirmation and assurances, he has given me friends who willingly do that time and again : )  He has given me further affirmation of recent decisions that blow my mind, and allow me to "go in peace".

God is good ..... gracious ..... kind .....just ..... patient

Mission's Trip to the Dominican Republic

So excited to be taking some sport management students to the DR tomorrow for spring break!  7 students and 2 fac/staff are taking off at 3:00 am to spend a week using some of the things we have learned in the classroom and putting them into real-life application.

This is the fulfillment of a dream come true for me when I started teaching in our major.  Giving our students at least one opportunity to use sport to share Christ over-seas while they are students here.  I grew up watching my dad take groups of basketball players over-seas all the time and using it as a platform to share Christ.  He and my mom continued this right up until she got sick.

There is something about getting out of our own comfort zones and seeing life outside of our bubble, that gives us a renewed perspective, not only on what we have, but also a challenge to our own faith journey.

We will be crazy busy!  We will be spending about 4 days up in the mountains helping with construction in the mornings and running a basketball "clinic" in the afternoons.  One of my favorite parts of this is that we will have no internet access and only 3 hours of electricity every other day!  

Time with just each other, these kids and Jesus.

However, all work and no play might make this prof grouchy!  So we will be spending our last day on a resort beach!  Not gonna lie ... kind of psyched about that!  

Praying Jesus changes all of our lives in some way through this trip.  Whether it is loving Him more, loving others more, growing in our personal daily faith or making us more grateful for what we have, I expect we will all come back a little different then when we leave tomorrow.

So thankful for a week in 80 degree weather too!

"THE MAN" details!

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching everyone find out about my engagement!  Not gonna lie!  So let me introduce you to my fiance'.

This is Russell Noll.  He lives in Lynchburg, VA and we were set up by a mutual friend back in late August.  He must have liked what he saw on FB because he called soon after and we started seeing each other in early September.

He is a Sales & Personnel Manager at a manufacturing company and has worked there for 30 years. He is kind, gracious, patient, loves to garden and cook!  (that one's a plus)  He loves kids and dogs and sings in the choir. He is a servant and loves people.  He is not intimidated by a strong-willed, been-single-her-whole-life-independent - woman, which is really nice! : )

My family and friends love him!  In fact after meeting him the first time, my SIL said if I screwed this up, they would be mad!  haha!  He has been very patient, as I am a "slow mover" when it comes to relationships.  After spending a weekend down in VA a few weeks ago,  many hours of processing and phone conversations with him ... and a good friend...I finally admitted that yes, I love this man!  The next thing I knew he was coming for Valentine's weekend!  

We are planning a late July wedding here in Cedarville.  

#Hucksgettinhitched

Because He lives

"Because He Lives - Amen"

I believe in the Son

I believe in the risen One

I believe I overcome

By the power of His blood

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because He lives

I was dead in the grave

I was covered in sin and shame

I heard mercy call my name

He rolled the stone away

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because he lives 

I can face tomorrow

Because He lives

Every fear is gone

I know He holds my life my future in His hands

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because He lives

Because He lives

Celebration!

What a crazy weekend with my family!  4 basketball games, one soccer match and two baptisms in the span of about 36 hours.  Unfortunately we went 2-3 as a fam in the sport arena!  Oh well, we can't always win!  : )

Preston's high school team won 2 huge games, both by two points.  They beat the #2 team in MI Class B who until that night had not lost in nearly two years in conference play.  It was wild and a lot of fun to be there.  

But what I will remember most is Sunday ... when two young men stood in front of thousands of witnesses and family and friends to proclaim their commitment to live as a follower of Christ.  To hear them share their stories, raise a fist to heaven and say, "I am proud to be a Christ follower", were the proudest moments of my life as an Aunt.  Yes, even prouder then the two free throws made at the end of the game to win the game!  

It made this Aunt want to stand up with arms raised herself and celebrate these men!  and why not?! We SHOULD stand and celebrate those moments more then game winners.  We SHOULD get together afterwards with family and friends and celebrate and mark this time in their lives.  No more sitting in our seats, solemn and sober when young (or old) men and women stand and proclaim their faith ... receive Christ as Savior ... experience healing in their lives ... whatever the case may be.

While all of this was going on, in the back of our family's minds was the fact that mom passed away two years ago on Sunday.  Yes, same day as the boys were baptized.  Mourning and celebrating at the same time.  I can't help but believe that mom was standing and singing with the Angels when those boys stood up, shared their stories and were baptized!  THEY are part of her legacy ...

Oh ... and had the boy's favorite - Qudoba - catered for lunch!  QUESO ... nuf said ........

Two Years Later

This picture was taken at our family's first Christmas without my mom.  Not gonna lie, it was miserable.  Two years ago, this week, was the worst week of my/our family's life.  We knew mom wasn't going to be with us much longer, but it still came as a shock to get the phone call that she was on her way to the hospital.

While in some ways it seems like yesterday, it has been 2 years.  I can remember so much about that week, in detail.  Wish I couldn't.  How do you decide to take your mom off a machine that is allowing her to "live" ... how do you plan for a funeral when you have never done that before ... how and what will it be like to watch her take her last breath ... what will we do without her ... how will dad do ... when its over, what then ...

Still through all of that, Scott and I got to be with her in those last hours, but more importantly, in those last minutes.  I wouldn't have changed that for anything.

I can't summarize in one writing all that has happened in the 2 years since.  But it has been A LOT of change, and not just within my family.  I struggled to the point of not knowing if I could take one more thing.  Several surgeries, loss of another dog, changes in my professional life, a dear friend/sister moving, a dad who now needs us to care for him, a final move and closing of my parents house and what felt like, throwing away of their "stuff".  It's been a dark time for me, but with the help of others, support of family and close friends, daily grace from God and literally, one day at a time mentality, I am through the worst of it.  (I hope!)

I'd like to tell you that I spent a lot of time in God's Word and prayer, etc.  but that just wasn't the case.  Most of the time I didn't want to.  I am past feeling "unspiritual" because of it.  What I hope I am now is, more aware of hurting people around me, more willing to engage them, more understanding, more loving and more aware, THANKFUL and in AWE of God's grace in my life.  I am VERY aware of how underserving I am right now.  God doesn't bless us because of how we have responded to something, just like he doesn't keep something from us because we didn't earn it.

He blesses us because of HIS SON and what HE DID on the cross...and because of that and my accepting that gift, I am worthy before Him to receive anything.

Life for me is still a day at a time.  I miss my mom terribly, I miss my dear friend, I miss what was both personally and professionally, I miss my dogs, I miss what I used to be able to do physically, I miss my dad ( he is still with us, just struggling ) and on a lighter note.....I miss what I used to weigh before all of these surgeries!  LOL - life will NEVER be the same.  However, I am out of the fog and though I anticipate more change, I believe I am in a better place to handle it this time.  Again, by and because of God's grace and my circle of trust (friends and fam) around me.

I have a new dog, his name is JACK!!

As Seen on TV

So this is one of my all time favorite things!!  I don't know why, but I LOVE all things "as seen on TV".  I'm sure it means something regarding the way I am wired and might make a great case study
for a therapist!

One of my dear friends is a regular recipient of these potentially life changing items.  I mean, what
bacon lover doesn't want the BACON BOWL!  The Ped Egg is nice for someone who wants smooth feet but doesn't want to pay for a pedicure.  The miracle Sealer for those nasty cracks in your favorite flower pot.   

One of my other favorites is the vacuum hair cut product.  I have NO idea how it works, but just run the thing over your hair and not only do you get a precision haircut, but it vacuums up the mess! The "one size fits all" tummy flattener is a nice one, or the nose hair and unwanted hair removal system could be the ones for you.  

Who needs the eye doctor when you can receive 20/20 vision from the $19.99 pair of night vision glasses.  Or make your own French fries with the French fry potato slicer!  However, one of my huge favorites is the Slanket, the blanket with sleeves! You might be wondering what the difference is between the Slanket and the Snuggie.  Well .... I'm here to tell you that the Slanket is WAY better!  The snuggie is a "knock off"!  Just ask the Internet, it never lies.  Even more exciting....I just saw the Siamese Slanket!  for you and your significant other.

Oh, and the miracle water hose that expands and shrinks up to save you from having to roll the hose up after every use? It's AWESOME!!  Until it bursts because the water pressure is too high.  

I feel like someone is becoming a millionaire sitting in a back room coming up with these products that people like me buy, whether they "work" or not.  How hard can it be?  

Anyway ... I have absolutely NO life lesson with this post!  I'm sure there is one, I'm just too tired to think about one.  Plus, every now and then, I just have to write a nonsense blog!  

The next time you really NEED something, check the aisle of As Seen on TV first.  You just might find something that will work and it will cost you a lot less!