Talking and Listening

Why is it so easy to talk about ourselves all the time?  Why do we feel the need to "one up" each other's stories; or immediately share our own similar experience as if we didn't even hear what the other said?  I'm not sure of all the reasons but here are a few ...

We are self-centered.  Always thinking of ourselves and what makes us feel good. It feels good to talk about ourselves and have people comment or laugh at what we share.  We are insecure.  The bigger the better the story, the more confident we feel about what others feel about us.  We are not humble people.  We would rather talk about ourselves and what we have done or experienced then sit and listen to others.

Sitting at the dinner table one night this week I sat and listened to my students talk.  They are great students! But they are also caught up in this "me" mentality, as we all are at times if we are honest. After listening to this for about an hour, I made a decision.  We all convened in a circle around a fire and I told them they were not allowed to tak about themselves the rest of the night.  They couldn't use the words, I, me or my ... Unless they are asked a question.

All of a sudden it was quiet.  They didn't know what to do or say.  After some fun with it and losing the privilege of talking if they broke the "rules", we sat and talked about it.  Here's my point ...

We spend so much time talking about ourselves that we don't know how to listen.  We are waiting for our turn so we can talk.  We don't engage in communication ... We talk at each other.  We don't listen to hear what someone is NOT saying.  We don't hear deeply what is being said.  We don't ask follow up questions to dig deeper or to get to really know someone.  Why?  Maybe because it requires hard work and vulnerability.  It even requires silence and being comfortable with that, while waiting for someone to be able to speak.  It requires patience. It takes intentionality.

I also think that when you have this kind of conversation, it inevitably leads to Jesus and conversation about life and spirituality.  Not every conversation has to be like this.  However, truth be told, we don't have many of them.

Ramona and Amado, the Dominican couple on the mountain were the best example of this. They shared their testimonies with us one night, never talking about themselves.  Even when we asked questions about how they met or something about them, they answered the question but always came back to conversation about God.

May I / we be more like Ramona and Amado ... Listen more ... Speak less about ourselves ...

A piece of my faith journey

I love the way the Lord is gracious and patient, knowing what each of us needs, even if we need it hundreds of times.  Some day I will write my whole journey up until now,  For now, this piece will have to do.

I've mentioned going through a two year tough patch, both in my personal and professional life...both affecting and challenging my faith.  There were times the tunnel seemed so long and so dark that I wasn't sure when I would feel "normal" again.  (whatever that means! haha)

A year ago this past week I went through another major fusion surgery.  At that same time, my best friend moved and started her own new faith journey.  I have worked through rehab, being frustrated at where I am physically.  Worked through learning a "new normal" with friendship and was faced with, again, learning to trust a God I can't see with stuff I constantly have struggled with in life: insecurity, losses, trust, letting go, being "alone", etc.

I have learned there is no time table.  No one experiences things the same way.  God knows what we each need, when we need it.  The only thing I know is that God has my back, has ALWAYS had my back and uses others to "have my/our back(s).

A year later, I am engaged and soon to leave a place I have finally found to call home, a church I found community in and friends I have found for life.  But in all of that I have found my faith stronger, my love for God deeper, my wounds healing and my friendships so much deeper then when I first came to this "farm land"!

And because God knows I need constant affirmation and assurances, he has given me friends who willingly do that time and again : )  He has given me further affirmation of recent decisions that blow my mind, and allow me to "go in peace".

God is good ..... gracious ..... kind .....just ..... patient

Mission's Trip to the Dominican Republic

So excited to be taking some sport management students to the DR tomorrow for spring break!  7 students and 2 fac/staff are taking off at 3:00 am to spend a week using some of the things we have learned in the classroom and putting them into real-life application.

This is the fulfillment of a dream come true for me when I started teaching in our major.  Giving our students at least one opportunity to use sport to share Christ over-seas while they are students here.  I grew up watching my dad take groups of basketball players over-seas all the time and using it as a platform to share Christ.  He and my mom continued this right up until she got sick.

There is something about getting out of our own comfort zones and seeing life outside of our bubble, that gives us a renewed perspective, not only on what we have, but also a challenge to our own faith journey.

We will be crazy busy!  We will be spending about 4 days up in the mountains helping with construction in the mornings and running a basketball "clinic" in the afternoons.  One of my favorite parts of this is that we will have no internet access and only 3 hours of electricity every other day!  

Time with just each other, these kids and Jesus.

However, all work and no play might make this prof grouchy!  So we will be spending our last day on a resort beach!  Not gonna lie ... kind of psyched about that!  

Praying Jesus changes all of our lives in some way through this trip.  Whether it is loving Him more, loving others more, growing in our personal daily faith or making us more grateful for what we have, I expect we will all come back a little different then when we leave tomorrow.

So thankful for a week in 80 degree weather too!

"THE MAN" details!

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching everyone find out about my engagement!  Not gonna lie!  So let me introduce you to my fiance'.

This is Russell Noll.  He lives in Lynchburg, VA and we were set up by a mutual friend back in late August.  He must have liked what he saw on FB because he called soon after and we started seeing each other in early September.

He is a Sales & Personnel Manager at a manufacturing company and has worked there for 30 years. He is kind, gracious, patient, loves to garden and cook!  (that one's a plus)  He loves kids and dogs and sings in the choir. He is a servant and loves people.  He is not intimidated by a strong-willed, been-single-her-whole-life-independent - woman, which is really nice! : )

My family and friends love him!  In fact after meeting him the first time, my SIL said if I screwed this up, they would be mad!  haha!  He has been very patient, as I am a "slow mover" when it comes to relationships.  After spending a weekend down in VA a few weeks ago,  many hours of processing and phone conversations with him ... and a good friend...I finally admitted that yes, I love this man!  The next thing I knew he was coming for Valentine's weekend!  

We are planning a late July wedding here in Cedarville.  

#Hucksgettinhitched

Because He lives

"Because He Lives - Amen"

I believe in the Son

I believe in the risen One

I believe I overcome

By the power of His blood

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because He lives

I was dead in the grave

I was covered in sin and shame

I heard mercy call my name

He rolled the stone away

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because he lives 

I can face tomorrow

Because He lives

Every fear is gone

I know He holds my life my future in His hands

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because He lives

Because He lives

Celebration!

What a crazy weekend with my family!  4 basketball games, one soccer match and two baptisms in the span of about 36 hours.  Unfortunately we went 2-3 as a fam in the sport arena!  Oh well, we can't always win!  : )

Preston's high school team won 2 huge games, both by two points.  They beat the #2 team in MI Class B who until that night had not lost in nearly two years in conference play.  It was wild and a lot of fun to be there.  

But what I will remember most is Sunday ... when two young men stood in front of thousands of witnesses and family and friends to proclaim their commitment to live as a follower of Christ.  To hear them share their stories, raise a fist to heaven and say, "I am proud to be a Christ follower", were the proudest moments of my life as an Aunt.  Yes, even prouder then the two free throws made at the end of the game to win the game!  

It made this Aunt want to stand up with arms raised herself and celebrate these men!  and why not?! We SHOULD stand and celebrate those moments more then game winners.  We SHOULD get together afterwards with family and friends and celebrate and mark this time in their lives.  No more sitting in our seats, solemn and sober when young (or old) men and women stand and proclaim their faith ... receive Christ as Savior ... experience healing in their lives ... whatever the case may be.

While all of this was going on, in the back of our family's minds was the fact that mom passed away two years ago on Sunday.  Yes, same day as the boys were baptized.  Mourning and celebrating at the same time.  I can't help but believe that mom was standing and singing with the Angels when those boys stood up, shared their stories and were baptized!  THEY are part of her legacy ...

Oh ... and had the boy's favorite - Qudoba - catered for lunch!  QUESO ... nuf said ........

Two Years Later

This picture was taken at our family's first Christmas without my mom.  Not gonna lie, it was miserable.  Two years ago, this week, was the worst week of my/our family's life.  We knew mom wasn't going to be with us much longer, but it still came as a shock to get the phone call that she was on her way to the hospital.

While in some ways it seems like yesterday, it has been 2 years.  I can remember so much about that week, in detail.  Wish I couldn't.  How do you decide to take your mom off a machine that is allowing her to "live" ... how do you plan for a funeral when you have never done that before ... how and what will it be like to watch her take her last breath ... what will we do without her ... how will dad do ... when its over, what then ...

Still through all of that, Scott and I got to be with her in those last hours, but more importantly, in those last minutes.  I wouldn't have changed that for anything.

I can't summarize in one writing all that has happened in the 2 years since.  But it has been A LOT of change, and not just within my family.  I struggled to the point of not knowing if I could take one more thing.  Several surgeries, loss of another dog, changes in my professional life, a dear friend/sister moving, a dad who now needs us to care for him, a final move and closing of my parents house and what felt like, throwing away of their "stuff".  It's been a dark time for me, but with the help of others, support of family and close friends, daily grace from God and literally, one day at a time mentality, I am through the worst of it.  (I hope!)

I'd like to tell you that I spent a lot of time in God's Word and prayer, etc.  but that just wasn't the case.  Most of the time I didn't want to.  I am past feeling "unspiritual" because of it.  What I hope I am now is, more aware of hurting people around me, more willing to engage them, more understanding, more loving and more aware, THANKFUL and in AWE of God's grace in my life.  I am VERY aware of how underserving I am right now.  God doesn't bless us because of how we have responded to something, just like he doesn't keep something from us because we didn't earn it.

He blesses us because of HIS SON and what HE DID on the cross...and because of that and my accepting that gift, I am worthy before Him to receive anything.

Life for me is still a day at a time.  I miss my mom terribly, I miss my dear friend, I miss what was both personally and professionally, I miss my dogs, I miss what I used to be able to do physically, I miss my dad ( he is still with us, just struggling ) and on a lighter note.....I miss what I used to weigh before all of these surgeries!  LOL - life will NEVER be the same.  However, I am out of the fog and though I anticipate more change, I believe I am in a better place to handle it this time.  Again, by and because of God's grace and my circle of trust (friends and fam) around me.

I have a new dog, his name is JACK!!