Leave it to a silly children's book to speak to me and make me cry. Leave it to one of my friends to pick this book to read to her kids before bedtime, while in the back of her mind, picking it for me. I have taken a mental health week to sort through all that has and is happening to me these past 2 years. In this week I have met for extended periods of time with a trusted counselor, spent hours alone reading, thinking and praying in the quiet country; spent some time with some sweet friends, and hanging out some with two of the sweetest kids I know. That in itself has been good for my soul.
Back to the book ..... I had the honor to babysit the kids of my friends so that they could go on a date. I think it's the most I have smiled in one clump of time all year. Ohhhhh the conversations with a 3 & 6 year old! Ohhhh the adventures of bedtime rituals and silliness because they were tired. : )
I had two books to read to them that their mom picked out. So, we got their PJ's on, snacks ready to eat, blankets, and went to the couch to read.
Little seed was a literal seed in a packet of seeds who was comfortable in there with all his seed friends. Little fox was a literal fox who was scared of the outside, the wind, and dark shadows. He made his way into the barn where Little seed was. Little seed fell out of the packet and became friends with Little fox. Fast forward some and the farmer found Little seed and said he had a plan for him, and assured him that "it would be ok". He took Little seed and planted him in the ground. He was sad, dirty and lonely. Little fox was sad too, looking all over for little seed. He finally found him and stayed with him during his "growing" months. The farmer kept watch, watering and cultivating the dirt and assuring them both, that it would, "be ok".
After some time went by Little seed began to sprout, fighting his way out of the dirt and turning into a beautiful tree. Little fox and Little seed were together again, weathering rain, wind, dark shadows and enjoying good times together again - always being reminded by the farmer, that "It Will Be OK".
There is more to the story and that is just my brief summary which leaves a lot out. But here are my takeaways:
1. We all, like Little Seed, like our safe places. We don't like change.
2. Like Little Fox, we are scared at times of the wind of life, the dark shadows of life.
3. We find good friends along the way to walk through life with. Some are temporary and some are lifelong. I have both and am so thankful for them.
4. Our farmer, God, is always watching and looking out for us.
5. God has a plan for me, just like the farmer did for Little Seed.
6. God knows the outcome, which is why He can say, "it will be OK".
7. Little Seed had to trust the farmer - I have to trust God.
8. Sometimes it takes the dark and us getting dirty in order for the "pretty" outcome.
9. Little Fox waited for Little Seed through his lonely, cold, growing, dirty time, and was there when he "sprouted".
10. I have a few friends who are waiting, with and for me, for me to emerge from the dark, dirty experience and we will all see the beautiful outcome God has in mind, that will ultimately bring Him Glory.
I am sure there are a lot more takeaways. But this is what I came up with for now. Does this mean I am "all good" and over everything? No ... not at all. Let's be honest....grieving a lost dream, and a broken heart takes time; pulling ourselves out of a funk, takes time. Figuring out a new normal is taking time. Being so far from family and some of my closest friends is hard, and quite frankly, I hate it. However.....
1. This is where God has me for right now.
2. When/if it's time to move closer, He will let me know.
3. In the meantime, I have to live in the now.
God is watching over, watering, cultivating me and saying, "It Will Be OK". Is it a dark and lonely place at times? ABSOLUTELY! But I have some Little Foxes waiting with and for me.
So ..... to my friend who picked that book for me to read to her kids before bed? I owe you one : )
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